Today was perfect until about dinner time...
I was dissecting a turkey and provolone sandwich, so I felt really gross even just eating a little. So, of course, I purged it. My boyfriend, being his loving self( me being stupid and ungrateful) got mad at me. As pervasive as I am, I let that stupid half-a-sandwich or whatever ruin my whole freaking night!
After this little episode, we went to the grocery store and then when I was waiting for the cab home I ate one whole fucking roll-thing calorie/sugar infested, and then like 4 handfuls of fecking gummy bears (I happened to by a HUGE bag in my depression).
As if all of this isn't awful enough, my boyfriend left me with the rightful words, "Don't do anything you wouldn't want me to do.." So, I didn't. (Well except for writing this, I guess, but I see it as self-help not self-destruction.)
At home I ate like 3 quarters of a subway sandwich, and lots of chocolate. I can't purge. My boyfriend is going t start if I keep going. I love him too much. He can also tell when I'm lying by my"lying face." haha
I did take some laxatives, but I don't know if they will cure me. :/
I feel horrible.
This morning I weighed in at 122. :)
Now I'm 126. :(
Ew. Nasty.
I'm sorry for the self-disgustion.
I hope you guys are staying stronger than I am!
Can you tell me how you guys fight off binges and/or stop in the middle of them?
Eh i hate bingeing, especially when you've been so perfect with your diet and making this whole big deal about being healthy. I sometimes drink HEAPS of water halfway through if i want to stop, until you feel totally full and sick... not a great feeling but it works!
ReplyDeletexx Claude