"We all have to find our own ways to say good-bye." — Sherman Alexie

I'm sorry for my self-pity posts. :/

Q (my bf) almost killed himself last night. I saw the cuts today. 36 of them run down his right leg. He carved the word "FOREVER" on his left thigh. That's a weird thing we do. Scratch words into our bodies. My right hip says "STARVE" and my left wrist says "TRASH." He said that he passed out. He thought he was dying.

This terrifies me, it fills me with fear. I need to empty myself of that fear.
Come morning, I'm going to fast until I faint. Until I think I'm dying.

Well, I suppose I should get back to my studies.