Helpless is what I am. Helpless, hopeless, worthless.
I had a dream the other night. In it, there was a girl. She was naked and walking around a room picking clothes up from the floor. Her hair,shiny, was pulled back in a messy updo. She was beautiful, in an eerie way, with sharp bones jutting out from her skin, and a fragile look about her. That girl was me.
Obviously not me at the moment though. Right now pads of grotesque fat cover my stomach, my thighs, my arms. I weighed in 128.4 today. Yuck.
I know it shouldn't be thinking like this. I know that I'm selfish and cruel to the people around me. I know my self-degradation is unfair to the ones who love me.
But I'm helpless, remember?
And I think they're even starting to realize it.
Sorry you're feeling so crap, :/ you've got us though. <3 p.s an oxo cube is like a little vegetable soup/stock type thing but you can drink it on its own for about 10cals. Schweet! X
ReplyDeleteWow! They sound amazing! I'll have to order some online or something-lol.
ReplyDeleteI've just been going through a hard time.It'll get better though. :)