Home.

I just got back from a 4 day long backpacking trip with school. My school is a charter school, so we have these outdoor trips all the time.

It went well, I suppose. :) The food consisted of oatmeal, tortillas, summer sausage, cheese, PB and J, ramen noodles, instant potatoes, and granola bars. :/ I couldn't starve or purge and I could barely even poop. haha. My bf and I got in a couple of spats, but those were mainly due to my jealousy and insecurity. Apparently,I'm not that easy to talk to. :( Also,I'm sort of an extrovert, I feel like I can't really connect with people, unless I'm really close to them, unlike my bf who can make everyone and anyone laugh. Apparently, when I do talk topeople, I'm being "trashy" or childish." I just want to be the girl that everyone loves...and that doesn't seem to be working. Once I'm thinner though,I won't need to be jealous and insecure. It'll be perfect. Right?

I'm pretty sore because we hiked like 10 miles a day, except today we only did 5. I'm excited to be able to eat "normally" and sleep warmly and fast and purge and restrict, but I love the serene feeling of being deep in the woods, in thought, in depth with myself and that world. I miss it. I miss the sounds and the smells and the sights. And it'snot like I live in a big metropolis city or anything, but it's not even close to being a part of nature. I would never wake up to that squirrel outside of my room or see that porcupine climbing the tree in my front lawn.

Well, I'm going to take my first shower in days. :)
Hopefully, I can just relax.