"Lonesome like you were when you were sixteen.
When maybe even I weren't listening.
Did I help when I was kissing you?"
-The Avett Brothers, whom I so fortunately saw play this live
I was planning on walking to the library to study, but I won't because it is raining. It's a rather dismal day.
I sometimes wonder if anyone will ever fall in love with me again..wouldn't that be nice? It would help with my loneliness at least...But I wouldn't want to hurt another person again.
Oh well, it's very unlikely anyone will even come close anyway.
On another note, I just came home from a rock climbing trip in Taylor's Falls, MN. It was pretty fantastic. I love living outdoors where all you have to worry about is surviving. It's so much easier to appreciate the beauty pf nature when you're not worried about studies or appearances or any other bullshit. I've always loved climbing and found it pretty exhausting, not only physically but emotionally since it involves a lot of trust in the equipment and your partners.
x
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Yayyy!
Hello there no one,
If you are someone and you have stumbled across this post then feel free to read and comment but know that I am speaking to no one.
Tomorrow I am starting a 48 hour water fast. I need the cleansing. My body is a wreck, along with my mind.
I hope it will do me some good. I'm rather excited.
I've been pondering the thought of suicide an awful lot lately. In fact, it never truly leaves my mind...I am just so sick of feeling so worthless. Honestly, I don't think I have any potential for a good future, and I have a feeling that those around me are giving up as well. I'm wondering if I should give myself an ultimatum or if I should keep trudging through this murky life of mine. I just want to become beautiful and happy and lively and successful. I have to prove to myself and everyone else that I am worth something.
Only time will tell, I suppose.
Oh, and if a someone does stumble upon this, here's a picture of me and my best friend Thomas. He's probably the only creature that genuinely loves me.. haha
If you are someone and you have stumbled across this post then feel free to read and comment but know that I am speaking to no one.
Tomorrow I am starting a 48 hour water fast. I need the cleansing. My body is a wreck, along with my mind.
I hope it will do me some good. I'm rather excited.
I've been pondering the thought of suicide an awful lot lately. In fact, it never truly leaves my mind...I am just so sick of feeling so worthless. Honestly, I don't think I have any potential for a good future, and I have a feeling that those around me are giving up as well. I'm wondering if I should give myself an ultimatum or if I should keep trudging through this murky life of mine. I just want to become beautiful and happy and lively and successful. I have to prove to myself and everyone else that I am worth something.
Only time will tell, I suppose.
Oh, and if a someone does stumble upon this, here's a picture of me and my best friend Thomas. He's probably the only creature that genuinely loves me.. haha
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