"I take a breath and pull the air in 'til there's nothing left.. I'm feeling green like teenage lovers between the sheets"

You know that whole thing about not blogging anymore?
Well, I've just got too much to say, and writing in a journal just doesn't seem as convenient. hah

I'm making a list of foods that I can never eat again and erasing them from my intake one by one. I'll post it on the sidebar.

I don't want to lose this escape- my eating "habits" I mean. I feel as if they're the only thing that is truly mine. I would say that about my Love but I can't seem to stop him from leaving cuts in his delicate flesh. And guess what! He's already underweight (like super skinny; his BMI is 16) to begin with,but now he's been losing weight and watching his intake too! Not only do I want him to stop this insanity and eat healthily and be well, but somehow I feel possessive about this eating disorder. I feel like it's mine and I don't want him to take it from me. I know that's horrible, but that's how I feel. :/

God, I love him. Whenever I mention how fat, or ugly, or disgusting I am he denies it full-heartedly. Could he really, truly believe that I am beautiful? I'm not even thin, though!!

I want to try a new diet. I need some structure and planning, instead of just waking up and deciding as I go.

Look where that got me:

Do you see my arm???? Ew!! It should be a thigh..hah




My Love looks hot in an old-man-sort-of-way. hahaha

Oh and, Quanah, if you read this, I love you. :)



P.S

My intake:
-Special K cereal w/ 2% milk (200)
-Banana (100)
-Yogurt (100)
-Orange (70)

Total: 470

Also,
Dear helesaurus,

Yeah, I guess I do have a lot to sort out, but I'll manage. :)
Thanks for your concern. :)