Hello lovelies,
I hope you don't mind but this post will be just me rambling senselessly..
I'm relapsing and it feels great. I haven't lost a lot of weight yet...but I will.
At the beginning of the school year, I had a sports physical and the doctor didn't seem to believe that I had previously had an eating disorder because my BMI is like 23... I've gained A LOT of weight...He was, however, very nice about the scars on my wrist..he said gently "You don't do this anymore do you?" And I said "No, I don't" and he said "Let's keep it that way, kiddo" and it made me feel like someone cared. Anyway, I really hope to go back to him once I'm skinny again and show him how much weight I've lost.
I'm so ridiculously sick of school. No one likes me. Somehow, I think losing weight will change this...
I'm becoming so tired of my so called friend and her bullshit. She's the most two-faced, rude, stuck up person..Whenever I even beginning to mention a mental problem to her she says "Okay _______ (insert name of someone she hates)" Oh well..once she gets the hint that I don't appreciate the way she treats me then she'll realize that she's pushed away most of her friends. Of course, there is an 80% chance that she'll view the situation as her being better than everyone else but whatevs.
I'm wondering if I should start my diet over break and come back skinnier or if I should wait until the New Year...I think it would be better to start it over break and then come back....let's see...10 pounds lighter...hm...10 pounds in 10 days sounds tough..but I bet I can do it.
I'll probably have to purge Christmas dinner but I did last year and the year before anyway...haha
Alright. My weight right now is (barf) 145.4
It WILL be 135.4 by the time school is back in session in 10 days. I CAN do this. I've done it before.
Here I go.
