"You're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul."

I hate winter. I want a treadmill.

I hope you guys are doing great! Christmas is so soon!

I'm sick and weak and I hate it, but I only have one more day of school left! Yay, for the increased opportunity of skipping meals!

I'm sorry, I'm a failure. Today definitely wasn't <500 calories. I'll start tomorrow.
You see, I have a bad habit of just saying "fuck it!" and eating that fucking piece of chocolate or bite of shit pizza. And it all goes downhill from there. Why?

Because I'm fat and disgusting and weak.
This has been a really awful week for me food-wise hasn't it?

I truly hope you guys don't think I'm always like this.
It's just that winter has set in and my seasonal depression is setting up camp with it.Yuck.
Tomorrow= a new start! (and I know I've said that far too many times)

Oh, God that is wretched.

I am so sorry. To myself mostly.

I need to look at some thinspo...I know! I'll make a new thinspo journal! That'll cheer me up. :)
And I'll play my guitar and sing Christmas songs... :)


Jacqueline- Thanks! You must have good taste in music.haha Did you know that I'm planning on naming one of my future kids Jacqueline?

Alright, guys, I'm making a list of reasons to be thin! And ideas?

DIS-GUST-ING!

Today was perfect until about dinner time...

I was dissecting a turkey and provolone sandwich, so I felt really gross even just eating a little. So, of course, I purged it. My boyfriend, being his loving self( me being stupid and ungrateful) got mad at me. As pervasive as I am, I let that stupid half-a-sandwich or whatever ruin my whole freaking night!

After this little episode, we went to the grocery store and then when I was waiting for the cab home I ate one whole fucking roll-thing calorie/sugar infested, and then like 4 handfuls of fecking gummy bears (I happened to by a HUGE bag in my depression).

As if all of this isn't awful enough, my boyfriend left me with the rightful words, "Don't do anything you wouldn't want me to do.." So, I didn't. (Well except for writing this, I guess, but I see it as self-help not self-destruction.)
At home I ate like 3 quarters of a subway sandwich, and lots of chocolate. I can't purge. My boyfriend is going t start if I keep going. I love him too much. He can also tell when I'm lying by my"lying face." haha

I did take some laxatives, but I don't know if they will cure me. :/

I feel horrible.

This morning I weighed in at 122. :)

Now I'm 126. :(

Ew. Nasty.

I'm sorry for the self-disgustion.

I hope you guys are staying stronger than I am!

Can you tell me how you guys fight off binges and/or stop in the middle of them?